


3, 2, 1

by bunnieju



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Dreamies are mentioned - Freeform, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mild Blood, Panic, Suicide Attempt, Trope: Mercy Kill, Trope: Zombie Apocalypse, im sorry i killed renjun, no one is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnieju/pseuds/bunnieju
Summary: "He holds the gun against my head. I close my eyes and "bang", I am dead."orThe virus wasn’t supposed to spread this fast. The bunker wasn’t supposed to run out of food. They weren’t supposed to encounter a horde of zombies that quick; not on their limited ammunition and borrowed time. This wasn’t how they were supposed to end up.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 24
Collections: NCT Spookfest Spring Scream





	3, 2, 1

**Author's Note:**

> i actually wasn't planning on writing anything, but i hope everyone can enjoy this short fic!!
> 
> inspired by murder song by AURORA

The gentle sunlight warmed their cold bodies, a light kiss of the summer they had yet to see, but the goodbye of a winter they’d weathered bravely. The grass of the field was a soft green, littered with colorful newly bloomed flowers showcasing their beauty to the immaculate blue sky. The quiet chirp of birds gave perfect lullaby to the scene. A day so beautiful, yet terribly ill-fitted to the plot.

A horrid smell permanently carried itself on the wind, never allowing them to forget their situation. Bodies littered the field in various states of decay, painting the beautiful scenery with brains, blood, and guts. The cold metal surface of the gun in his right hand was tainted by the drops of blood that rolled down his arm from the wound on his shoulder, and it was as if ice coursed through his veins. Shivers as violent as hurricanes and tsunamis racked his being; his mind had finally begun processing the cruelly written plot. A boy took two steps forward and kneeled in front of him, a plea on his lips.

“Jeno, come on,” Jaemin harshly whispered, his voice cracked and hoarse. “You need to go, now.”

But Jeno didn’t move. His whole world had been tilted and thrown into a collision course with death. He attempted to breathe in but quickly found out that there was no air left in his dying world. Panic filled his lungs preventing him from taking the desperate breaths his body asked for, and a fire quickly grew in his lungs. His legs gave up on him and sent him also kneeling on the ground, the weight of his body becoming too heavy for them. 

“Jeno, I love you so much, baby. You need to listen to me and run away.”

Jeno’s eyes returned a sharp focus on the boy knelt in front of him -- his voice sending Jeno’s brain into deep sorrow at the inevitable. His shaky left hand reached forward, fingers leaving ghost touches on Jaemin’s face before cupping his cheek.

“I love you.” Was the only coherent thing that made its way past Jeno’s mouth. Jaemin’s eyes filled with tears, yet contrasted by a brilliant smile as he leaned into Jeno’s touch. It was the smile he had fallen in love with, the smile that reminded him of all the good in their menacing world. It was Jaemin’s open and loving eyes that taught him understanding and kindness despite the epidemic rooted in their lives. It was Jaemin’s gentle touch that had rebuilt him after he had lost all hope. It was a love that ran so deep through the cycles of living, that the world would never erase its sacred memories.

It was only when Jeno tightly embraced Jaemin that he noticed the slight tremble to Jaemin’s body. For sadness, maybe fear, maybe even anger, Jeno knew Jaemin would never tell, curse his want to be brave for Jeno. But Jeno just held on tighter, apologies spilling from his mouth; he wasn’t able to keep his promise. Jeno hadn’t even known he’d been crying until Jaemin pulled away and cupped Jeno’s face to wipe at his tears.

“Jeno, I need to go. Run, please.” The veins on Jaemin’s neck were beginning to turn black, contrasting Jaemin’s ever paling skin. Jaemin continued smiling, however, dampened by streaks of sadness in his eyes. Jaemin’s eyes were losing their usual glow and his body began twitching. Jaemin continued looking at Jeno with the same amount of love and adoration he always had. Jeno raised a hand to squeeze the boy’s wrist, before carefully lifting himself off his knees. 

With one last ‘I love you’ falling off his lips, Jeno turned and began fleeing the scene, but never managed to get far before turning back and taking one last look at the boy. Jaemin couldn’t see him anymore, Jeno knew that—eyesight was the first thing to go. Jaemin raised his gun to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the barrel, tears streaking down his cheeks from his now blind eyes. Jeno should have looked away, but the horror freezing his bones didn’t allow him to.

Jaemin forced himself to stop shaking with a deep breath, before putting his finger on the trigger and slowly pressing.

Click.

The boy cried out in desperation.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

Jaemin collapsed forward, hitting the ground repeatedly with his fists. Empty. His gun had no more bullets and he had no more magazines. His body shook rapidly and Jeno could see the boy he once knew drain from that body, leaving behind an empty shell of hunger and decay.

The virus wasn’t supposed to spread this fast. The bunker wasn’t supposed to run out of food. They weren’t supposed to encounter a horde of zombies that quick; not on their limited ammunition and borrowed time. Jaemin wasn’t supposed to die. Jeno wasn’t supposed to continue alone.

This wasn’t how they were supposed to end up.

Everything from anger to sadness to desperation ripped Jeno’s chest to shreds before his brain could even catch up to what he had to do. Ahead of him, he watched as Jaemin’s body twitched to life once again, limbs contorting in methods they never should have, before Jaemin’s body rose from the ground with his head limp and staring at the ground.

Jeno took a careful step back, but that seemed to alert the empty body and his head snapped up in Jeno’s general direction, eyes blind to his surroundings, therefore, relying on sound. Jeno paused carefully in his movement to not alert the empty boy further of his location. Jeno stood there for what felt like hours watching as the empty body roamed the clearing but never getting too close to Jeno. 

Jeno’s hand trembled harder with every second that passed and every choice that his brain supplied him with. All those choices instantly disappeared as the gun slipped from his panicked hands and clattered to the dirt loudly. The empty body paused in its path across the clearing, slowly turning in Jeno’s direction before letting out a low guttural screech and beginning its journey, tearing through the clearing towards Jeno.

The empty body was still fresh, therefore it had not begun decomposing yet, making it quite fast for a zombie. Jeno’s glasses nearly slipped down his face from his shaking and sweating, but he quickly snapped back to reality and pushed them back up to the bridge of his nose and fixed the back strap. His breathing got shorter and shallower; he could feel panic grip at the edges of his mind and begin to pull.

No, he couldn’t freeze up. Not again. He’d promised. He promised Jaemin to never be afraid.

He quickly swiped the gun up from the floor and with shaky hands rose it to point forward.

_“Your posture is awful, no wonder you’ve had so many close calls out there, did no one teach you how to use a gun?”_

Jeno froze. It had been so long since they started their journey, but never long enough for him to forget the days before they left the bunker. God, how he wished he’d be back there.

_“Come on, let’s head to the range, I’m going to teach you.”_

Jeno could vaguely register Jaemin’s voice in his head with the kind tone he’d learned to love. His knees shook harder as he stood there staring forward at the face of his Jaemin getting closer and closer, empty of love.

_“Your first problem is that you think too much. That’s going to get you killed out there. You have about a five-second window from the moment a zombie is within 20 meters from you, so you need to be ready to shoot.”_

Jeno pressed his lips together tight, a pain pulsing in his chest. Nonetheless, he knew what to do.

Five.

_“Your grip on the gun is terrible! Step one: you need to put your dominant hand on the gun, three fingers and thumb on the grip, and your pointer finger straight along the side of the gun.”_

The breeze greeted tree, grass, and skin the same exact way. In its gentle passion, it became a push forward in the right direction. Jeno’s glassy eyes blinked away the blurriness of being alive; he knew what he’d promised.

_“Great! Then you gotta take your non-dominant hand and wrap it around your dominant hand on the gun, but keep your thumbs side-by-side and that pointer finger along the side of the gun too.”_

Four.

_“Now your posture! Align your feet and shoulders square to the target, then place your dominant foot slightly forward. Now raise your arms and aim at your target with slightly bent elbows, so that you don’t get thrown off by recoil.”_

An imbalance greater than any recoil slammed into his mind and had he been six months younger he would have never been able to tell what it was. But he’d experienced this enough to see it from miles away, even with his crappy eyesight. It was grief. The side of love they never warn you of: burying your heart alongside your lost love, leaving an empty in your chest where breaths feel suffocating and shadows rule. 

He’d lost Jaemin and he’d give anything to be lost with him.

Three.

_“When you’re aiming, look through your front sight, which is the sight closest to the muzzle end. Keep it evenly spaced with your rear sight and make sure it’s level at the top of the rear sight. If your target looks fuzzy and it’s not because of your crappy eyesight, that’s normal.”_

It was an unbearable sight. The image of Jaemin reduced to the monsters that had taken so much from them already had tainted the treasured memories he’d had. The image of eyes frozen over and robbed of warm love destroyed the world Jeno built; hollowing their dreams, tearing at his strength.

Two.

_“Lastly, breathe. It’ll help with your shaking if you breathe and calm down. I know it’s contradicting to tell you this, but in your worst moments, remember everything good in your life and everything you have to live for, no matter how insignificant. It’s all a reason to properly shoot your gun.”_

How could he when he’d failed to protect all he’d had left?

_“You promised. Death isn’t an option.”_

But he did. He promised Jaemin he’d choose right. He needed to head to the shelter. He needed to find Donghyuck, Jisung, and Chenle. He needed to tell them that Renjun and Jaemin didn’t make it. He needed to be there for them at the end of this terrible, dark road. He needed to live for them. He needed to live for himself.

One.

Bang!

And there he went. Gone.

  
  


_“Hey, Jeno?” A voice disrupted the steady silence of the monotone bunker._

_“Yeah, Jaemin,” Jeno replied._

_“If you ever have to kill me, I’d be happy to die by your hand,” Jaemin whispered so quietly that Jeno may not have caught it if it weren’t for the echo of the bunker._

_“You promised we’d survive together. Why should I have to kill you?” Jeno sat up on his bed and turned to look at the grey lump of blanket that was Jaemin._

_“You’re right, I shouldn’t have put that on you, I’m sorry.” Jaemin simply offered._

_With that, the poisonous silence settled once again; unblinking, unforgiving, and so still that if they listened close enough, they could still hear Renjun’s pleas for help._

_“What I want to say is…” Jaemin began unwrapping the blanket that covered him, popping his head out to look at Jeno. “The world is unpredictable right now, Jeno. And no matter what happens, I want you to know that you need to survive, even if without me.”_

_“I don’t want to survive without you.” Jeno couldn’t do this, it had been too rough of a day to do this._

_“Promise me, Jeno.”_

_Jeno could see the sadness begin to physically clog Jaemin’s throat._

_“I can’t promise you that.”_

_“Jeno, please, just give me the peace of mind.” Jaemin pleaded, tearful eyes silently begging Jeno._

_And another silence filled their space, this time more destructive as it picked up their heavy emotions and began swinging them around the room._

_“I promise to try my hardest to make the right choices, for me and for you. And death isn’t an option.”_

_Dissatisfaction was clear on Jaemin’s face, but it was a compromise; a compromise that would fit their situation in the dying world._

_“I love you,” Jaemin whispered, a sad smile on his face._

_Jeno couldn’t manage a smile, not at that moment, but he managed to reach his hand forward and intertwine their fingers._

_“And I love you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> find me on:
> 
> twitter - twitter.com/bunnieju or twitter.com/asteriafics  
> curiouscat - curiouscat.me/bunnieju


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